What I learnt in life(number1)

The most important thing I have learnt during my training time in UK is : To appreciate whatever people have done, good or bad. I think maybe people there are not so straight forward. They are more considerate about others' feelings as well as 'face'. People in Singapore tends to be more straight forward at work. This maybe due to fast pace of life. People need to get things clear to have the job done. But sometimes it is too easy for people to jump into conclusion based on a few words. It is also sad to say something that may upset a lot of people easily. But how to make sure what have been said out is exactly what other people want to hear. The only way one can do that is to take a second or two to pause, cool down, and think what other wants. Well, it is hard to do so because we are either too busy or too frustrated with the current situation. I am still practising on that. The biggest obstacle to me is my fast changing temper. Others may have been pissed off by my defensive statement before they want to continue conversation(or maybe not). The second obstacle is my slow response. I will usually take some time to understand those implicated statements or suggestive questions. That could possibly cause me to fall into a stereotype which I have not ever want to be.

生命的插曲

上个星期，一直为了许多事在忙，有着让人兴奋的婚宴，也有黯然的丧礼。欢喜的是哥哥的人生大事终于在忙碌中完成，这段时间，所有参与者都放了不少时间让整个婚宴尽善尽美。虽然帮忙的时间不多，中间也感受了不少情绪压力，但是总算是可以放下心来。朋友在患癌多日后与世长辞，其实心里还是有些悲哀，但是这也是主治医生预料中事。当病情已到了无法好转的时候，临终关怀变得十分重要，很遗憾的是友人家属的雇主并非十分体谅。然而他们与其他好友的关怀，还是让友人坚持走完人生的最后一个月。不晓得她临走时是否还在承受超越麻醉剂的疼痛。只是让我觉得，生老病死中，最难过的还是生病的阶段。不只是病人的身心受煎熬，亲人的生活情绪也会受影响，还要担负沉重的医药费。其实，就算有医药保险，许许多多的额外费用与收入暂停，也是让人喘不过气的。所以我们只能尽力维持身体健康，珍惜身边的每一个人，虽然生命中仍然有许多无法预知的事。

回家

搬去哥哥的新家后，发觉回家已不是一件易事。新的住宅区什么都好，就是非常不方便。单是买顿饭，就得驾车到数公里外的住宅区。就算是同区，也得走上至少两公里，这就是新区。虽说像派报服务很快就开始了，但其他的商店与公共交通服务，还是需要一段日子才会开始。对许久不驾车的父亲而言，这是很不容易的。进出需要人接送，而住宅区又被分割成数个群落，个别被一层篱笆围着，只有一个由保全人员看守的出口。这就像住在紧急状态下的华人新村，试图把自己同外界隔开，以求家宅平安。我不晓得这样是不是能在乱世下求得一夜安眠的好方法，只觉可怜。

我尝试搭巴士回家，也尝试坐火车。可是终站还是太远。新家也不是我的，为了更大更舒适的居住环境，放弃了自己原有自在的生活方式，对我而言，是否算是另一种成长。

长大了要另筑新巢，我还是办不到。老来从子，看来没那么容易。

我恢复上班族的生活

回到马来西亚一个月后，终于又恢复在新加坡租房上班的生活，可是该做的好像都没做到，东西还是乱糟糟，一会儿担心遗失，一会儿又在寻找可能的贮藏地点。很多事计划好了要做却没做，不该做的却又受不了诱惑。对人的态度与反应，却一再曝露自己的弱点，让自己下不了台（参deal with bad attitudes)。我要如何呢？

上班两天了，除了自己的英国帮， 其他的同事好像难以靠近。办公室内还有一批美国帮，还有几个从客户公司培训出来的同事，再加上几个SUBCONTRACTORS， 实在有点复杂。其实现在才发现自己知道很多关于母公司的事，有些还真是不能说的机密，有些事说了对自己对同事也没有好处。我这才发现有许多真话是连自己人都不能说的, 好难过。

Where and when can I have both wisdom and the feeling of relief at the same time?

dealing with negative(bad) attitude

There are many cases we will encounter people with bad attitude during our daily lives. So how are we supposed to deal with that? To do it we should try to understand why they behave like that. The reasons could be in bad mood, difficult situation, dilemma or undesired condtion. They may have been treated unfairly as well. Hence, we need to prevent these negative factors from spreading to us. The following are the ways I figure out to deal with people of such attitude:

1. Call it a stop
You are not supposed to be a victim of mental bullying. So you have to let that person know that. You may do something that catch his/her attention. Then telling that person it is no use to behave in this way because such behaviour won't do anyone good.

2.Challeging them with questions
Ask "Are you sure that is really what you want?" or "What is the point of doing that?"You need to gain the control of the whole situation and show that you should be treated fairly before you bring on a threat of taking some antogonistics actions.

3.Telling them what you can do for them. Then asking them to do something easily achievable. So your great attitude and praise to them. By doing so, you hope they will get out of negative feeling and thinking.

All these are the methods I could thought of currently. The most imporatnt thing is not to turn yourself into someone you do not like at all.

In Malaysia

PSS team in Lonza, Slough

I finally returned to my own home in JB after 1.5year in UK. Although this is the 7th day since I returned, I still pushing myself to readapt to the temperature, language and mosquitoes here. Sometimes, I would be missing those colleagues in the company there, those friends that I met in table tennis club and those from Imperial college(I am not student there).

I admit that my own home is definitely more comfortable. But somehow, I have get used to a lot of changes recently. Futhermore, the new house does not progress as I dream of. Sometimes, it is just too difficult to plan what I want to do for my new room. Even while I was choosing furniture, I have to choose from the shop my family placed order from. Otherwise there will be a lot of logistics problem, I may not be able to move over in time. Besides that, I have also heard something was not done as it should be by the person I trusted a lot. So that is life, not everything can be perfect. I wonder how much extra money my brother and sister -in-laws have to put in for this new house.

gain and lost

真的对不起浏览这篇部落格的朋友, 好不容易才能找到机会上网. 让我一次过细数这三个月走访过的地方. 首先是盛产古龙水的科隆

然后是严谨的瑞士, 美丽的少女峰.

接下来是少了烽火的直布罗陀.

漂浮在海上的卡迪CADIZ

SHERRY葡萄酒的故乡JEREZ

寻找热闹的舍维尔SEVILLE

街头艺人逗留的山城GRANADA, 静卧山中的ALHAMBRA皇宫

阳光海岸的MALAGA

这一段路并不是一帆风顺, 我在路上掉了手机, 临时改变留宿地点....

这只有一个教训, 目标清楚, 就不要太在意一路的波折. 真希望我在最后几个月的生活能安稳过去. 不再有太多是非怨言.